blogging

While walking home today I had a sudden flash of realization. Something which I knew but never really pursued or understood. I'm a Four with balanced wings.

It's probably too lengthy to explain why, but I think it's true. I didn't want to entertain that thought because the book said it's not that common, but now that I think of it both types' dominant issues are very prevalent in my life. Also, I was averse to typing myself as type 3 since I never really liked it (image-obsessed chameleon) but that is exactly how I behave at times.

Over the course of my life in 40 I managed to accumulate 1 whole foolscap pad of journal entries. I think it's nice to have something from that time to look back on, but more importantly I find that the act of writing out my thoughts actually helped me focus myself and divert my attention away from the depressing issues. It's really interesting to look back and see how much I've changed and that the issues I was obsessed over were just simply minutiae.

I think I have ADD. It kinda sucks. I wanna write about something but the moment I start crafting the sentences I jump away to another thought and can't go back to what I was thinking about. Maybe depression helped as some kind of focus. Now that I'm not feeling that sad and angry and raging I find it hard to concentrate on anything. =(